Don't Deport the Anchor Pandas!

Mei Xiang, a Chinese immigrant, came to America without a visa.  She came here, in part to ensure that she would deliver offspring in this country, a practice that we typically call the production of an "anchor baby."  This past week she delivered her third and fourth such offspring, a set of twins, in Washington, DC.

Congratulations to Mei Xiang on this awesome moment!  Both left and right in the USA applaud this particular delivery, and unite in a celebration of the twins and in their hope for a long life for them -- here.

As you have probably already figured out, no one is threatening to deport Mei Xiang, and no one except me -- in a moment, I'll explain -- is concerned about the citizenship of the two little twins.  That's because Mei Xiang is, in fact, a mama panda, residing in the National Zoo.

Her citizenship, and that of her panda cubs though, is of great interest to me.

The pandas in the USA zoos, including Mei Xiang, are "on loan" from China, our friend and currency manipulator, hacker of our computers and networks, and threat to our allies in Taiwan and elsewhere.  They wave their pandas around as some kind of indication that the Chinese dictators are actually much like those cuddly pandas they lend our zoos, as opposed to murderers, currency manipulators, serial hackers and, by the way, one of our largest creditors.

I know that, by agreement, the cubs of these lent panda ambassadors still belong to the Chinese, but gee, laws don't really mean all that much to this Administration, so why should panda agreements be any more sacred, especially when they were established before Obama was immaculated?

Really, tell me if you didn't think this, too: It was only a few days earlier that there was even a hint that Mei Xiang was expecting, and the word "twins" wasn't on the radar.  Then almost immediately after the pregnancy watch comes word that there were twins.  I know my very first reaction was this -- since no one knew she was even pregnant, and now there are twin cubs, why not celebrate one of them, and quietly spirit the other off to some other zoo on the down low, let it grow up and not tell the Chinese? 

That being my first thought, my second will not surprise you: Those cubs were born in the USA, even though born to an alien without a visa, and regardless of any agreements to the contrary, they are Americans now!  How can we regard them as belonging to another country if they were born here?


So I think that one of the presidential candidates -- Carly Fiorina, are you listening? ... Ben Carson? -- should put a stake in the ground and claim that if the left is so all-fired supportive of the 14th Amendment when it comes to anchor babies, they should be claiming the same for the panda cubs!  No more default to Chinese ownership; they were born here and cannot be deported.  Yep, the little cubs are indeed, to use the "offensive" term, anchor pandas!

No matter what we do about citizenship, I also strongly suggest that we name the panda cubs, not with cutesy Chinese names but, in deference to their hacking of our Federal networks after Revolutionary American figures instead -- perhaps George Washington or Betsy Ross.  Once the Chinese try to take them back to China, they can name the cubs anything they want, but while they're here it's George and Betsy.

However unserious I am about this, it is always fun to expose the hypocrisy of the left, finding jolly ways to point out that their statements and actions in comparable situations can differ depending on the political exigency and whatever the narrative is they want to press.

So while no, I believe in the sanctity of contracts and don't really want to challenge the totalitarian Chinese government's rights to the panda cubs, I do want for someone to bring this up, and contrast the leftists' spokesmen's expected sputtering statements with their attitudes toward actual human anchor babies.

What will the left say? The one -- panda cubs -- should be returned, at least in ownership, to the Chinese.  The other -- babies born here to Mexican or Southeast Asian parents to establish citizenship --  shouldn't be returned to their countries of origin whose economies, if you believe the Washington Post, rely on their labor (well, they say ours does, so that's an easy analogy).  Reconcile that, if you can.

They're cute and cuddly, and they should be ours.  At least we should talk about it.

   Copyright 2015 by Robert Sutton
 Like what you read here?  There's a new post from Bob at www.uberthoughtsUSA.com at 10am Eastern time, every weekday, giving new meaning to "prolific essayist."  Sponsorship and interview inquiries cheerfully welcomed at bsutton@alum.mit.edu.