Guest Column: The Beef

The "other" Robert Sutton (not the former Army football coach, either) is why I'm actually "Sr.".  So as guest columnist today, I'd like to welcome Jay Sutton (Robert, Jr.), whom I've known since he came into the world in Manassas, Virginia 34 years ago.  Jay is a Libertarian, a Web developer and a marvelous writer, which he likely gets from his mother.  He can be reached at jaiatillar@gmail.com.  

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There is a highly charged debate raging through the country right now -- a case of a woman standing firm by her religious beliefs, in the face of adversity.  A southern belle, refusing to perform the duties she was assigned to fulfill on the orders of a higher power, angering beefy men everywhere.  An adherent, who has put her religion before her position.  

I speak, of course, of the Fayette County Beef Inspector Achala Jenkins, formerly Tanya Jenkins and recent convert to Hinduism.  Ever since Achala found Hinduism, and began adhering to its strict vegetarian codes – not to mention the bovine-specific dogma – she has refused to inspect any beef production facilities, on religious grounds.

When asked how she could continue to perform her duties if she could not enter the facilities she was elected to inspect, she responded, “This is my religion, honey, and them cows is sacred!  Sacred cows means I can’t see them all cut up; and I am free to practice my religion.  I don’t ask you to go watch angels get cut up, don’t be telling me I gotta watch cows get cut up.  They’s sacred and I got religious freedom.”

Achala stuck to her guns on Monday.  Despite an order from the Supreme Court to continue her legally-mandated inspections, Inspector Jenkins refused to leave her cubicle.  While protesters from cattle ranches large and small picketed outside the Inspection Office, Achala watched Bollywood movies on her government-issued laptop and shouted “Religious freedom!” every few minutes.

“This is insane!’ remarked rancher Bob Simmons.  “I mean look, I get she’s found Hindu Jesus but I’ve got $3 million in beef about to become a whole lot of Grade A Unsellable.  If her religion doesn’t let her do her job, maybe she should step down?”

When that was relayed to Achala, she became aghast.  “Why, that Bob Simmons is just an anti-Hindite.”

As the county looks headed to lose record numbers, the cattle ranchers looked to the legislature to take steps to remove the inspector amid likely contempt charges.  Unfortunately for the ranchers, the legislature is on its fifteenth regularly scheduled week-off-for-some-reason-or-another, and would not call a special session.  Speaker James "Flip" Flopmeyer refused to comment on the specifics.

“Look, she’s not doing her job, but we can’t just get rid of her,” Flip relayed from poolside. “There’s a lot of Hindu sympathy out there and this close to elections it’s just not wise to stir things up; hurts fundraising.  Besides, getting someone in the government to do their job sounds like a lot of work.”

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As should be blatantly obvious by now, there is no Achala Jenkins, County Beef Inspector for Fayette County.  This is all a thinly veiled reference to, of course, Ronda Lowenstein, Shellfish Taster for East Brooklyn.  OK, in seriousness, this is in reference to the saga of Kim Davis, Clerk of Rowan County, Kentucky.  Miss Davis has suspended issuance of all marriage licenses in the wake of the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage, and continues to refuse to do so despite a refusal-of-stay from the Supreme Court, one that will likely end with her found in contempt -- and someone else taking the position and issuing the licenses.

Now for those who don’t know me, I’m a Libertarian.  So when it comes to gay marriage, what I have suggested was to end the concept of a legal state of marriage.  Let’s just say neither side was really a win for me.  As to the question of whether gay marriage is right or moral, whatever, I’m not weighing in my opinion there.

But when you are appointed, assigned or elected to do a job, you do that job.  If your religion prevents you from fulfilling the duties of that job, you don’t run, or apply for that job.  If you find religion on the job that prevents you from fulfilling the duties, it is your duty to step down.  If the job changes such that you cannot perform the duties within the bounds of your religion, you step down.  Doing otherwise, preventing the government from doing its duty on your religious grounds, is establishing a de facto state religion.

If your religion makes you uncomfortable having your name on an official document issued by the county, you shouldn’t be a Clerk.

And if you’re Hindu, don’t run for County Beef Inspector.

 Copyright 2015 by Jay Sutton

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