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There are many reasons I have sworn off flying. I’m on the wrong side of middle age, and have bad knees. Taking my shoes off and putting them back on in an airport is an ordeal. My weight and medical conditions put me at high risk for DVT. And the last flight I took, we were supposed to land at Dulles, made two attempts to do so in a thunderstorm that threatened to rip the wings off, and then landed in Richmond. Not only did we have to wait for the storm to clear, but also we had to refuel. When I got off the plane at 2 a.m. the morning after the night we were supposed to have arrived, I said that was my last flight, and I’ve kept to it.
Now, as I alluded, I am not thin (like the usual author of
the column), but have way more girth than I need. This leads to another problem with airline
seats. They are too small for me. Even when I fly business class, and have a
little more width and leg room, the seats are, in a word, snug. But even this is not the issue of today’s
column. That issue is the poor engineering
design of the seats themselves.
When we were about to land, both in Richmond and at Dulles,
the flight attendant came up to me and reminded me to put the seat back in the
full upright position. Now, consider
where they put the control for this: on the inside of the armrest, where my
right thigh is pressing against it the entire flight. Believe me, I would love to put the seat in
the full upright position, but that would require the loss of a lot more weight
than can be done on a typical flight. So
I lean forward, and hope the seat moves with me, but it’s not as if it is
actually giving me any support. If
anything happens during the landing, the seat will do whatever it will, beyond
my control.
At the local movie theater, they recently replaced the old
seats with a new, luxury version. These
are beautiful, comfortable black leatherette chairs, and as I sat down I was
immediately enveloped in comfort.
Moreover, I had my feet swept up and the back recline to a perfect
position for watching the film. Not a
perfect position, though, as it turned out, for getting up. It was the latest Avengers movie, and I was
the first one trapped! It was lucky for
me that the refreshment stand was closed for renovation, because if I’d had a
soda, I might not have lasted until the end of the movie.
As the credits rolled, my son Tom, similarly trapped,
managed to get up and give me a hand.
Straddling the footrest, I got to my feet. It was only then, as the lights finally came
up, that I saw what I had missed in the darkened theater: two black rocker panels inset into the side
of the chair, exactly where my thigh was sure to press, and nearly
invisible. At least now I know how to
get out!
My well-named La-Z-Boy recliner has a separate, wired
controller. That works great, and it
also has a vibrate mode, which works well for quickly removing sleeping cats
from the chair. But you don’t have to go
that far. You can put the controls on
top of the armrest, or even better, on the front where your fingers can wrap
around and use them, but won’t hit them accidentally. Problem solved!
Any seat that will accommodate a large person will also
accommodate a small person. Any seat
that I’m comfortable in, Linda Hunt would fit into nicely.
But the reverse is not true. Seats are designed so that about 95% of
people can sit in them comfortably.
That, of course leaves the other 5%, including me. Of course, in a country of 325 million
people, that’s 16 million that won’t fit comfortably in an airline seat. Now, while not a rich man, I’m sure that I am
in the top 1% -- in posterior dimension, that is.
In a modern airplane built to seat a few hundred people, you could put
two wide seats instead of three narrow ones in a couple rows, and I guarantee there
are enough overly-wide people who would gladly pay an extra 50%, or more, to
sit in them, without any of the other extras that go into First Class.
And the same goes for leg room. A little good engineering would go a long way
towards accommodating a wider range of people in airplanes and a host of other
places.
Don’t get me started, either, on
restaurant booths where the tables poke patrons in the stomach while they
eat. They practically scream: “Hold that
steak dinner, I’ll just have the side salad and a glass of water.”
I can’t leave this subject without mentioning my church, to
which I am very devoted. Certainly there
is no width problem here, but the pews are so close together that when I stand
up to sing a hymn, the pew I’m in presses into my calves while the one I’m
behind cuts into my thighs.
What’s more,
it is a Lutheran practice to turn and follow the cross during the processional
and recessional. With the pews spaced as
they are, this is a problem for even the small, bird-like women in our
congregation, not to mention the larger folks like me. I have solved this by sitting in one of the
four rows behind a cut-out for a wheelchair, right on the end where I can
turn. There are four such in our nave,
but a lot more people who could use them.
Even with the population growing, there is still a lot of
space on planet Earth. It’s time to
start using a little more of it where it’s really needed.
Original content copyright 2018 by T. E. Fenstermacher and Robert Sutton
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Its all about money.... how many more people can you cram into a plane. Who can afford to pay first class just to be comfortable? I'm going to Australia next year and not looking forward to flying there.
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