A Giant Pain in the Ears

The local supermarket chain here is Giant Food, part of the same Dutch conglomerate that owns the New England chain Stop 'n' Shop.  I shop there regularly enough to know a few of the long-time employees by name.

Shopping at Giant is essentially indistinguishable from the experience at any other chain grocery of its type, Safeway, Kroger, etc.; which is to say that it is a generally tolerable experience.  I can't imagine that too many people live to food-shop; I certainly don't, and would likely cede the responsibility if at all possible.  But it is a matter of course, and I do it.

Unfortunately, with familiarity comes analysis of the mundane aspects of any oft-repeated experience, and that is the case here.

One cannot wander the aisles at Giant without the assault of piped-in music, and I have to ask the logical question -- why?  I ask that logical question particularly because the music that is piped in is mostly the same thing, by which I mean the kind of whiny song done by countless indistinguishable pop tarts these days.  I would name a few of the songs and singers, but that would involve looking them up, and life is too short for that kind of research.  Plus, I'd have to care more.

So Giant sees fit to assault the ears of its shoppers with the plaints of a bunch of 20-year-old girls set to similar tunes, complaining of ... well, I don't know; can't understand half the words and don't care about the others.  But they're clearly not happy, from the whining and the six words per song I actually can understand.  And trust me, that's all they play.

Why?  Giant wants us to come in, buy a lot of food, and go home happy.  I can't imagine there's another goal; when we eat up what we have bought, they want us to come right back to Giant.  They try to make things easy to find, pleasant colors and all that.  You would think that they would want you to stay longer, wouldn't you?  The longer you stay, the more you buy?

OK, the platform is yours, Giant and your Dutch parents.  Please clear up the mystery of how listening to 20-year-olds whining is to be expected to entice me to stay longer and spend more.  Because mostly, I can't wait to get out of there.

Would it be any different if the music were really different, like classical music at half the volume, or maybe anything at half the volume?  Or maybe nothing at all?  Have they tried that?  I rather doubt it, because the only reason I can imagine for the whiny pop tarts is that someone is paying Giant to play the stuff.  My Rule #46 applies; if something is happening that otherwise makes no sense, follow the money.

Of course, what makes no sense to me is whether Giant analyzed the downside of taking revenue for playing loud whiny pop tart songs, against the potential loss of revenue from shoppers staying shorter periods because of the subtle discomfiture.

I'll still go there; it's not that big a deal.  But you'd kind of want to know, wouldn't you?

Copyright 2014 by Robert Sutton