Hey, it's presidential campaign season! That would be the period starting with midterms, and especially rampant (and rancid) when the incumbent is in his second term and ineligible, meaning that both parties have to come up with someone.
Earlier this week, the Washington Post had a front-page article "warning" the presumptive candidate Hillary Clinton about assaults on her inevitability from the "little-known challengers". That's sort of what 2008 (and 2006 and 2007) was like, when a little-known part-time U.S. senator from Illinois named Obama campaigned and stole the nomination away from the peeved Mrs. Clinton.
At any rate, with the mid-terms in the rear-view mirror, we're clearly allowed to start talking about candidacies for the Presidency. And I can't think of anyone who better characterizes the state of the 2014 Democratic Party than one man, whose style (lots of it), substance (absolutely none of it) and core following, best position him to be the 2016 standard-bearer for the Democrats.
I refer, if you haven't already guessed, to the one, the only, Al Sharpton hisself.
Born in Brooklyn, NY in 1954, Big Al, who is now Much Littler Al, fits the whole "natural born citizen over 35" thing, which makes him immensely qualified, even if the current president chooses to amend the Constitution single-handedly to broaden the criteria to include Martian-born and those under eighteen months of age. At 62 when the election comes around, Sharpton will be even younger than I am now, which makes him relatively childlike by comparison.
I don't know if Al is campaigning or not, but his actions are certainly consistent with candidacy. He is making himself visible whenever there is controversy of any kind, taking the posture, right or (mostly) wrong, that gets him the biggest play in the press. He has somehow managed to avoid, with the help of his good buddy in the White House, a felony conviction in regard to his massive ($400,000) tax evasion; a felony would probably keep him from candidacy.
But let's get serious here. The biggest argument for Sharpton is that he IS the Democratic Party of this era. He has no positions on any actual issue (jobs, ISIS, the national debt, Iran, Keystone/energy independence, Quemoy and Matsu, etc.), which will put him right in the mainstream of the Democrats, who have no working solutions to anything at all. He has plenty of style, he's a great dresser, he's glib, and he can call himself "reverend" since he was ordained by the time he was ten years old, although that might cause him some issues with the atheistic wing of the party of FDR.
On the other hand, the Democrats would love his equality of opportunity. He has made documented slurs toward gays, lesbians, Jews, Mormons ... absolutely covers the floor as far as tastelessness, so clearly he can offend anyone, which effectively means no group is more offended than any other.
I'm beating the drum right now for Big Al to run. I can't wait for him to debate Hillary; I'd buy a ticket for that one and let's face it, so would you.
In 2016 we're going to need a heavy dose of entertainment, and I can't imagine a better source than having Al Sharpton run for president.
Run, Al, run!
Copyright 2014 by Robert Sutton
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